So sometimes my mother-in-law will come out with some oddball question or statement. At first, they concerned the answering machine on the telephone. We had it set on the fake-computer-voice guy telling you that no one was available and to please leave a message after the tone.
My mother-in-law insisted that the answering machine announced that "Eight people live here." She would ask me, day after day, every time she heard it play, why it keeps telling everyone that eight people live here. I insist that it doesn't say it at all. I tell her what the message is playing. I play it for her. She thinks I'm full of shit or stupid or something, and goes on insisting that it's telling everyone eight people live here. I consider changing my message.
Apparently when you lay in bed all day, refusing to get up for anything except meals, trips to the garbage can and the bathroom, your sense of hearing gets warped. Or sharpened, depending on who you ask. According to her, George Bush called and left a message for us. "Why did George Bush call and leave a message?" she asked one day.
Really? Huh, better check the answering machine! Nope, there was no message from George Bush. Not for a single one of the eight people that live here.
I moved the phone with the answering machine speaker upstairs where she can't hear it anymore. After two years of uneventful phone calls, she discovered last month that the little light on the phone flashes when there is a voicemail. She wants to check it. It could have been anyone. Anyone could call, maybe even our newest President. I tell her to leave it alone. It's usually the pharmacy.
Then, of course, there are the seasons. "Do the leaves on the trees come out, or fall down after winter?" Well, mother-in-law, you're looking out the window, at the snow and the bare trees. "What do you think?" I ask slowly, encouraging her to think about it for a minute. Just. Think. About. It...
"They grow?" she answers, unsure of herself. "Yes," I reply.
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